Almost There

8 in the morning, my shading started out just the least bit inconsistent, and that was okay for doing an old man's forehead mottling.  I could have been more exact with the pellgrino but that might have distracted:  that part of the pellgrino is the least important thing about the picture.  Right now his face is what pulls your attention most, just as it should.  Everything draws the viewers' eyes to the face.
21 hours.  Barring any tweaking there's just the hand still to go.  The individual bases of the fingers are hard to tell apart, not forward to that aspect.

I had to take the photo twice, the first time he literally had a cat hair in his mouth.  (nuts, I only moved it to his sleeve.)  See how the shading on the pellegrino balances the image?  Leaving it blank Just the outline, no shading) would have been a nice artistic touch, I've seen that done by some of the artists that inspired me and I've done it myself, but the heavy shading of his other elbow necessitated giving that shoulder cape the full treatment.

I did tweak the shading on the chin, but just barely.  It's enough, his skin now does not blur into his collar the way it did.

Still not as crisp as it ought to be when you zoom in.  One of his shoulders fades out.  Think I'll try playing with the camera settings again.

It's 8"x10" on quality paper, and you see by the progression just how much it took.  How much do you think I should ask for this?  How much I'll actually get is another matter, I have no idea what that might be... but what I mean is, do you think a lifetime's worth of skills should get at least minimum wage?  People understandably do not want to pay by the hour for this kind of work, and I winder what a reasonable flat fee would be.

I was working on an image of an actress last year that came to being finished, I think it was at 18 hours in, and I believe that one to have been more labor-intensive and much more problematic in it's details.  I should be able to increase my speed when I correct my work-station :posture, consistent lighting, printed reference, etc.  Having a computer is a great help,  I can zoom and play with contrast to see details better...but it slows me down having to look farther away from the page, readjust my focus all the time.  This is the first drawing I've done entirely that way.

And the actress?  Sharon Mitchell in a leather jacket.  I hope to finish that one still, I have the ref on flash drive and I think the drawing is with the next batch Lore will send.  I called her, she is waiting for he next payday.  The only problem with the Mitchell is that I didn't rests my hand on a barrier  and one edge of the paper yellowed a little.  Maybe I can trim it.  I had an edge trimmer for papers back home but I had to abandon it.  I meant for it to go to Kevin and Katie along with other crafty off and ends, and I printed them out before I left.  I hope they didn't get thrown out as trash.

Neither I nor Jesseca knows how much it will cost to have prints made of Pope Francis.  I've not enough money left after I pay the phone this month, and I'll need to put what's left in my wallet into the account back home to pay AT&T.  Oof.  Hope that money from home comes through soon.  They were expecting June or July but would have been this month if the estate hadn't been overcharged.  How long will the refunds take?

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I mentioned to Jesseca doing images from Tetsuo: The Iron Man (my review: http://sinistersimian.blogspot.com/2015/01/tetsuo-iron-man-shinya-tsukamoto-1989.html) and she thought it might be a good idea.  I thought the audience would be too small but she says it's the niche markets that are thirsty for a market that hasn't been oversaturated.  I don't do landscapes, everyone does still lifes...anything Shinya Tsukamoto hits that venn diagram sweet spot of cult interest and my own passions.  There are three Tetsuos movies to work from (four, if you count Tsukamoto's experimental films prior to theatrical releases).  I'd be even happier to do work from A Snake of June (http://sinistersimian.blogspot.com/2015/04/a-snake-of-june-shinya-tsukamoto-2002.html).
Tsukamoto does have a following, but not as large as the group who've only seen Tetsuo.  I'd be happy to draw from all of his films... Tokyo Fist, Bullet Ballet, Gemini...I've done reviews for all of them except Kotoko and Nobi aka Fires on the Plain (still haven't seen Fires) but Snake is always my fave. 

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15 minutes, rough shading of the hand.  Falling asleep because I slept too little.  Might be from eating too, food puts me out like a knock-out drug  but I've been  doing better with that lately.  Losing weight should help bring my numbers down.  I hope someone back home finds which box my test strips are in, I would recognize what I labelled the box as if they  have it.  "Testing" or something like that.

(outside for a while)

One of the things I like about the Mitchell piece is that her hair seems to me a touch stylistic.  I want to do more like that, move more of my work in that direction.  When does a flourish add to a piece and when is it out of place?  I think that if it works, if it adds a flavor that meshes, then it isn't an addition but an integral part of the whole. It's not a flourish anymore.

I also like the leather jacket.   After many false starts, visual gibberish, and a ton of erasing it really did finally come to be a leather jacket.

Pope Francis and Sharon Mitchell both in the same post and both treated with respect and admiration.  Never thought you'd see that, didja?

 Blogger.com is not set up to mark individual posts here as NSFW, so I would have to crop the picture.  Show you her hair but not much of the jacket.  It's been almost half a year since I posted to a different blog that's NSFW, though the Mitchell drawing was the only image on it with nudity.  It's the only one I've ever done with nudity...damn, so much time wasted, one of my favorite subjects and I never did a drawing?

Here's a different example, from when I began the drawing for Scott.  I am further along than this but don't have a photo on my flash drives any further along.  This is the kind of thing I've been talking about, getting a feel for the textures and the way they fold as they hang on a body.  Feel the material, feel the way it moves.

That's from a much larger tablet, that one brother alone is a roughly the size of the Francis image.  The picture is of four brothers in front of their boat.  I have two of the brothers done and much of the boat.  You see the initial tracing for coordination, while the trace marks for the second brother have been erased almost entirely as I was about to begin drawing him.  The background should hardly be there at all in the final picture, more indicated than drawn.  We'll see.  I hope to have it in a couple of weeks so i can start in again.  It became impossible to work on it much at home.

This is the fluid kind of work I can do, that I really love to see in my own work.
Below is Sharon.  You can see the shading trail off where I was still working her sleeve.  I really like what was going on with her hair.

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Almost there, hands partly done.  22 and a quarter hours.

Edgy, or Tips on Pencils

May 13th

I heard Jesseca pounding stakes into the spot where the Oak was transplanted so that it will have re-enforcement to stand until it takes root and the soil around it repacks.  I never know when to go out and offer help...gardening is one of her passions, so it's often her alone-time.  I sit here drawing, it's the same thing.  I wouldn't want anyone to help me draw even if there was something for them to do.

(Oh, I guess it was the birch tree she was planting instead.)

I just snapped the lead on the .3mm pencil I was using.  That happens a lot, this stuff is so thin and brittle.  You'd say it's a pecil that's all point - I always say it's all point.  That's not true though.  Think of a wooden dowel.  If it's just been sawn it may have a crisp edge to the ends.  Sand them down and the're a little rounded.  .3mm isn't very large but if you look at it under a microscope you'll see that it has volume.  That end may be harsh or it may be soft.  When I'm using it for smooth shading I want it soft.  Best yet if I can keep the tip from leaving the surface of the paper at all.  That's the trick to leaving an unbroken field instead of scribbly marks.  If the tip isn't a little rounded your shading is going to be darker than you want.  Practicing how much pressure you use is another factor, but I want to warn you about the harshness of the tip itself.  Like I said, I just broke the one I was using.  A couple of clicks on the pencil and it feeds me more, but now it's got that crisp edge to it now.  If I am shading and go from using a worn tip to a freshly broken one in the middle of a field I'm going to have a noticeable difference that will have to be corrected before I can continue.  It will have to be erased and redrawn.  Worse than just producing dark lines, it may dig a physical scar in the surface of the page.  Those are hard to hide - hard to erase, harder  or impossible to fill with the correct tone once you've erased.  What you need is a bit of scrap paper handy.  Do a short scribble on it to knock that edge back off the tip, or use the new tip elsewhere where there's a spot you really do want a crisp line.   If you can see minute details (and why else would you be  using a mech with such a fine point?), you'll notice the tipe broke at an angle.  rotate the pencil so the the flat of the diagonal is parallel to the paper.

Erasers:  you'll want to take the cap off the clicky end of the pencil so that you can use the eraser.  ALWAYS put the cap right back on after, IMMEDIATELY, because using that eraser is a habit you'll perform without even looking.  You'll remove the cap only to discover the cap was already off and you've just taken out the eraser.  Oops, too late, all that lead has just spilled out of your pencil.  Some of your lead fillers/pellets have snapped, more are likely to as you go on a treasure hunt to find them all.  Have several erasers of your choice next to you, like those pink erasers.  You can use them to dab at shaded fields to sorta 'ghost' them a touch.  It will be inconsistent but lends a nice watercolory feel.  You can go with that or touch up it up with pencil to even it out a bit, but it's good to do if your shaded patch has a border that's more defined than you want it to be or you've gone just a tad too dark.

Also, you'll need clean erasers of that kind to clean up the negative space as you go and when you finish.  I've been using a barrier (practice safe drawing, kids) between my hand and the page, on areas where I did the  lightest work with hard leads, and still it has smeared the paper a but and left it kinda sooty or smoggy.  Now it looks pristine again and the image really pops.

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Well...umff.  I dunno.  20 hours, I'm getting the work in but that's not the same as getting it done.  My work is off today.  Smooth but not smooth enough, light but not light enough.  Working the pellegrino, and so far the shading just looks ugly to me.   The shades on paper are not becoming cloth that hangs on a body, just marks on paper.  Maybe I'll feel it better after I've been away from it some hours.  Feel I've nearly made a hash of that side.  I've ghosted it with an eraser, and I've used my fingertip to smear it a little, as much as I dare.  That's a trick I used to use a lot, these days I try to avoid it.  Not telling you not to, though, use every tool you can and see what works.  Just make sure your fingertips are clean as you don't want oil, pencil residue, or anything else dirtying the paper.  The 'anything else' might introduce a color stain that'll never come out!

At first glance you wouldn't notice that I'd added anything.  Well, that's better than having a glaring error.  I did knock the tone just a little more, just now, so I'm a little more okay with it.  It makes me wonder whether I shouldn't have omitted some of the shading.  That's one of the editing choices one makes.  Hmm.  There's some more to go, they will probably give the flow that's needed...or...there';s one fold I could remove, taking a risk on how that will affect the others.  Okay, leaving that side too blank would cause an imbalance toward the image's other side, with nothing to counter the sleeve and elbow.  Plus it's still light enough that it doesn't distract, even looks nearly blank until you look right at it.  As cloth goes it is unquestionably white and clean.

Better study the photo again, I  suspect the tones under the chin may need deepening to match those under the nose and nasolabial folds.  Chis doesn't look fully dimensional to me the way it is.  Uh-huh, which should probably mean to do that whether the photo indicates it or not - the drawing demands it. Put the finished image ahead of the reference.  I should have added a highlight to the left eye even though there isn't one in the photo.

Yeah, I don't think I'll take a picture of it tonight.  I hate to chalk that up as a day's work but that's where it is, been at it for some hours on and off.  Quarter after four, and I'll try to put it away for awhile.  The seas are in turmoil under the surface.

Look at that smile on his face!  I almost feel as if he's encouraging me.  Alas it's not enough to settle my current feelings. 

First Mother's Day Since

Oh.  damn.  That was appropriate.  Jesseca and Brian went for a walk along the trails out back and brought back a couple of young trees to transplant.  One is a nice Oak.  I didn't do much but did get out there in time to help a little, first tree planted.   I was sending it vibes and visualizations of roots reaching out, the vast resource of the Earth beneath it, reaching up, seeing it  cycle through the branches and leaves, a cycle the tree will be a part of, strong and thriving, nurturing.  Does it help?  Does it work?  Hell if I know, but trees do have psychic links all their own.  Don't scoff, it's been studied.  Look it up.  I did that with two trees and a bush at home (unhappy sigh) that were dying, and they flourished.  I had to leave them behind, of course.

Mom had been concerned about them and was happy they lived.  I was trying not to think too much about that as we were replanting this tree.

I just realized it's Mother's Day.  The first since.  I think this Oak will make it.  If it  doesn't I don't wanna know.  If the new owners back home rip out all the trees and bushes, I don't want to know that either. 

Dana said this can be got through.  She spoke from personal experience.  I wish I could talk with her, bot for my sake and for hers.  Not about us, just...about getting by.  Just as friends.  I wish she trusted me with her story.  She knows I'd listen, and she knows I'd hear it. 

Hopefully I'll work on Pope Francis today but if I do it will be because I force myself.  Which I damn well should, I know it.   It's necessary, it's money.  For art's sake I'm not feeling it, which can't play a factor on this.  I have to put that away.  If I were established then maybe I could take a day or so aside.  So close.  Just a day or so.  Pellgrino will be easy and must be done in the brightest light for the delicacy of the shading.  Hand should be teased out the way I did the face and forehead (which also isn't finished yet).

Francis at 18 and a half

I've decided that  I want to die in a tragic drawing accident.   That way people can say "He died doing what he loved.  He knew the risks."

17 and a quarter hours in.  Oops, that's not a smudge in the lower right corner, just a shadow.  I keep forgetting I'll have  to finish the other half of the pellegrina.

My back is telling me that posture is an issue too, though I can't say it wasn't the same at home sometimes.  Depends on the chair I'm in and the height of the work surface.  Right now I'm drawing on one end of a standing food tray (my source is onscreen at the other end of the tray) and I'm sitting in a rocking chair. That makes it harder to work for several hours straight through as I've done before.   Sounds like excuse-making but it's true.  If I've enough money soon I want to send for my art table as  mentioned before but also the chair that goes with it.  If I'm still at Jesseca's that will mean the room will be crowded and a little hard to navigate.  I should wait until I've moved into a new place.  DSS hasn't approved me yet and I'm still having tom pass some hurdles.  If they do approve me it'll still be a month and a half - wait, did I already post all this??  I hope Jesseca and Brian can put up with me if it's that long.  There's the other place, which sounds mostly ideal, but we've not checked them out yet and there will surely be a waiting list.  I hope there's wifi, I need the access.

I've roughly shaded in the lower jaw, which I think is a bit too wide.  No fixing that now.  I go in light and build the intensity of the shading.  Once I'm sure the shapes are right I go in again and carefully darken things little by little and smooth out rough scribble lines.  Those mostly disappear as I add lead around them.  After that it's on to his forehead and left temple.  It's almost 2 in the afternoon and an overcast day.  If the light holds I can finish his head today barring corrections.  Little over a week since I began, isn't it?  I think?  With one day of no work on it at all, and only a few hours each day.  Make this a habit, be able to stay in/find  the zone each day, get  consistent lighting...I can cut the time it takes to under a week, or better.  Can't say that about any medium I'm less familiar and comfortable with, but drawing I know.

He's recognizable, anyway, and his abundant good cheer and warmth come through.  I like many if the textures, some of the details like the ears and the wisps of hair.

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Three o'clock, last bit my hand  was being much more sketchy than I should continue with.  Still, close, might get there yet tonight.   Do you see what I'm doing below with the forehead, the faint sketching?  Because I have to explore the shapes to find their definitions, because the shading  shifts subtly, I don't have a clearly defined field and tone.  So instead of just filling in, I'm  building it up from light markings.  Increase the darkness as needed, then smooth things out later.  Once I'm sure the shapes and shifts are right, see how it looks in context and decide if it's dark enough.  If it isn't it may be necessary to switch to a softer lead.

Don't use your harder leads for anything dark.  Don't press too hard on the paper, if you can see the pencil making an impression on the paper you're stressing the page too much.  At worst you're going to tear up the surface.  You might also cause the surface to buckle like waves.  I've made both of those errors before.

18:30 in.  Feeling the first twinge of a possible headache.  Haven't been having that problem, a good sign.

Is anyone reading this?  I hope someone is finding it useful!  I wonder what it would be like to teach a class in drawing.  I might enjoy that.

15 Hour Pope

14 hours in.

I'd forgotten that when I drew a portrait during  high school it would take a couple weeks to finish.  I carried a tablet around with me from class to class and worked it every class I could.  So that would be maybe thirty to forty minutes at a time, and not every class was conducive.

Ah.  So, the shoulder cape is called a pellegrina.  The cassock sleeves are silk, that's good to know.  I can look at my drawing and see that what I've done looks right for silk.  That makes me feel better about it.  Funny, as I'd have never guessed it was silk from the photo.

Here's a delicate trick.  In the photo I'm working from, his eyes are clearly looking right into the camera.  No question about it.  The drawing above?  Not so much.  I've just tweaked the drawing, and I think it's better.  The difference is barely measurable.  It meant adjusting how much sclera (the white of the eye) is visible either side of the pupil.  Just the one, his left eye.  No, his left.  Right side of the image.  No, your right side.  I'd swear that pupil looks a little bigger than the other now but I measured and it's not so.

This the first time in a very long tome I've been able to sustain work on a drawing for this many days in a row.  I know it seems as if I don't get much in each day but these three or four hours each day are spread out across it.  I'm also not set up lighting-wise for good work in late afternoon and evening.  I need my art table and at least one standing lamp that I can move around.  Even so, I'm enjoying being able to get back into it.  When I don't feel it, not in the zone, I'm not that far removed that I cannot find it again.  Currently I'm just kinda sketching in the shading to get the shapes, find the fields.  I may do the hand this way too before the final shading begins on the face, so as to pair them tonally.

Jesseca has had an idea for a larger piece, with a large central image of Pope Francis flanked by smaller images of Mary and Jesus.  I already had the perfect shot of Francis for a collage of this sort but I'm pretty sure I'll have to look for one a little more appropriate, a little more solemn.  See, Mary is universally depicted as sorrowful (understandably).  Jesus probably smiled a lot in his day - I hope he did, I like to think of him as more upbeat than beat up - but he also is usually seen as downcast even with his eyes lifted.  He had an unimaginable burden.  So imagine the finished drawing:   the murdered man and his mother, both of them with the weight of mankind on their shoulders, and between them is Francis with this look of overjoyed surprise on his face like "This is the best thing ever!"

Actually I'd prefer Mary and Jesus both look a bit happier.  You know, filled with the warmth of God and such.  Mary looking towards her son, maybe, Jesus gazing upward.  I mean, it's a shitty way to die but the redemption of mankind has gotta be some kinda silver lining?

(Oh no.  No no no no.  Bad mental image just came to mind.  Old TV ad.  "Jesus, you and the Holy Father have just saved the whole human race!  What are you going to do  do next?"  "I'm going to Disneyland!")

(Do check out Scorsese's Last Temptation of Christ.  I love that movie.  "It is accomplished", powerful stuff.  In Scorsese's and Dafoe's hands you really do get a feel of it being earned.  Pity so many Christians hate the movie, you'd think they'd embrace something that makes their faith look sympathetic to non-believers.)

I'll also have to tailor the image for commerce.  If it were purely for the sake of art or for myself I'd choose a darker-skinned Middle Eastern man to model Jesus, with close-cropped fuzzy hair and no beard.  That would be honest.  Yeah, that'd go over well with potential customers...     Isn't there something about lying being a sin?    Oh well, I guess it's not like a Commandment or anything.   : /

To thine own self be- no, wait, that's Hamlet.  Ne'mind.

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'Kay, I'm'a post this 'cuz by the time I get a  substantial bit more done the light will have changed too much to get a decent shot to show you.  Been working the hand, just blocking it in lightly, and filling in the inside of the sleeve.  I will definitely have to do a balancing act to get the tones of the hand and face to match and still stand apart from the clothing.  The liberties I took from the photo ensures a difficult time for that.

Oh, I should mention the pencils and leads I'm using.  For those who don't know, I'm using mechanical pencils of .3mm and .5mm.  I'm using a variety of hardnesses, necessary for a range of tones.  The very softest I have used only in the upper eyelids, pupils, and irises so far.  The softer the lead, the darker it goes on...but is also prone to smearing and smudging which will stain the paper.  Pretty much impossible to erase, it will leave your page darkened.  Anyway, mechanical pencils are all tip and no sides, which is why it takes me so long.  I could use regular pencils but I haven't in so long that I'll have to learn what textures I can get with them.  It's a different look,  which doesn't go well with the mechanicals I use.  I have two sets of regular pencils to use though, both given me as gifts.  One was from mom.

: (   : (  : (    Mother's Day is coming up.  I've been bombarded with ads for it.  Having to clamp down hard on my emotions.   I never imagined  that Mother's Day could ever be a source of grief and mourning, it took me by vicious surprise.  The loss is still felt as keenly, maybe more so now because it has sunk in as real.


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15 hours and nearly didn't have to edit in a graphics program!  Have to push to do more hours in a day.  How was yesterday only roughly an hour's work??  I'd swear I was averaging three total each day, was I not paying attention?  Huh. Well, I am  working off a screen, and that's relatively new to me.  If I had this printed in front of me it it would be easier to go longer each day.  Hmm, that's a consideration I'd not taken into account.  I don't have a printer but I can send a ref pic to email then have it printed at the library. If enough money is left over from the sale of the house it might be worth it to get a cheap printer Money is so short right now even a fifty dollar printer seems an unjustifiable expense.  It might still be if I can't start making money from this.  I need to build up a supply of portraits I can show off at the artists' co-op. Jesseca said a few minutes ago the same thing I had been thinking earlier: my process is too slow.  So, get printed refs and see what I can do with regular pencils.

12 hours, looking better

May 10th, may start the eyes next, the mouth, work on the face.  I really would prefer to do the  face before the hand, and though the sleeve is still unfinished (and I'm not happy with it yet), it's important to remember that the sleeve is not the focal point.  It's less important.  As long as the details are present, it may be wise to soften them further. I want the audience's eyes to be kept busy, invite them to explore, hopefully find something new each time they go there.  I do NOT want my audience's eyes to remain there as if there's nothing else to see!

I really do love the folds at the elbow.  They look fun and playful to me.  I think they invite the viewer to follow the folds and cuffs and cape.  I'm personally very happy with the top button at the collar, ans Jesseca says the pectoral cross almost looks like watercolor.  This is going well.  So let's bring the real life to it, Francis himself.  Let's add his warmth and humanity to the image.

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This, um, looks a little creepy.  It's true.  You'll have your own style and methods, so there's no right way of doing this.  You might like to dive right instead of plotting out the image.  If you work from an initial tracing, you might have a method for getting a really accurate one.  Me, I always erase and replace the traced lines,  which are just for placement and size.  That's what I did here, most of my trace lines are now gone.  Most of what you see above was done by hand from the reference photo.  I did make markings on scrap paper to get the borders of the eyes.  This took, I'm gonna estimate, thirty minutes.  You can train yourself to do this, it's a learnable skill.  Forehead, cap, ears, these are still the original trace lines but this is enough to start from.   The eyes in the photo are slightly shaded, so no worries if these look a bit smudgy. 

11.5 hours now.   I never count prepwork like tracing before I start drawing, but I'm into the drawing now and this part is part of the work regardless whether I've started to fill in the shapes with tones.  Tracing isn't drawing.  Anything I do by eye, I count.

http://focusfeatures.com/pope-francis-a-man-of-his-word/?pid

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12 hours

See, that's only fifteen minutes and is looking a little better already.

The 11th Hour

May 8th
Watched the  series finale of Penny Dreadful, it...did not improve my mood.  Spoiler alert, this beautiful, heartfelt, brilliant series is a fucking downer.

Anyway, this to me is the work I love, the only work that's mine.  It's all I want to do.  If only I can.  If I can make enough with it to be all I need.  I don't need to be rich, just to know I'll never be homeless.  I want my things.  I want a place for them and a place to be, and to have my own food.  To know the situation is stable and secured, and to know I'm wanted.  I wonder how long that will take and if I can get there.

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May 10th.  As expected, didn't work on this yesterday.  This morning I'm almost 11 hours in.  Overcast day, the light hasn't been the best for it but now it's a little brighter.  I'm showing this stage precisely because I do not want to show this stage.  A lesson, though for you or for me I don't know.  Point is, I've been doing my best to do the tonal changes as I see them but as I've lain them down they just seem splotchy to me.  I've yet to work them in a way that convinces me of the play on light as the fabric changes planes.  The individual patches of shading aren't adding up.  If it's a lesson for students then I guess I'm saying  that being at a point like this is okay.  That area isn't done yet  (still that last triangle at the cuff to work), so don't fret or be uncomfortable with it.  Take the time, take the space, take the detail in context with the rest.  What looks right  helps what doesn't.  You (I) might look at the photo again for that, or disregard it and try to fix the drawing disregarding the reference - whichever way your mind can make the fabric and lighting credible.  I've already taken libertines with the shading.  As long as the impression you're after comes across, it doesn't have to be an exact reproduction.   For my own sake, it may help to stare at this pic on screen instead of the actual drawing on paper.  Why that works, I don't know...psychological?

Pay attention to the seams.  Some seams are inside the fabric and you won't see hard contour of thread.  All the same, the cloth will naturally show there's another layer beneath it.  Or a seam may be too fine for the camera,  the way the cloth moves outward from that seam will still indicate it.  You don't have to draw a line!  Let your shading work for you.

Okay, the more I look at it right now the less I see how to fix it and the less I like it.  Time to do something else for a while.

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HA!  I accidentally inverted the image in Wordpad and it looks fucking awesome that way!  Makes me feel a little better with it. : )  

Have now adjusted the eyes. I had them close, you wouldn't have been able to tell.  

I wonder what would happen if I took a reference image, inverted in, drew the invert, scanned it, then inverted that back...how would that look?  Would the effect be worth pursuing as an art piece?  After all, the piece itself would remain inverted, and only the print(s) would have the finished effect I'd intended...rather rendering the piece itself as incomplete or unfinished. 

Buddy spends a lot of time sleeping on my bed now.  He's right at a corner between two windows and the weather is getting warmer.  There's also a warm thick fuzzy purple blanket.  I'm happy to have his company, but I do have to make sure he  doesn't paw before he settles in. 

It's all in the details

May 8th.  Was this an hour's work?  Two?  Was difficult to get into this morning, and Buddy was in a couple times.  Gonna call it 90 minutes.  I'm six and a half hours in.

Again, edited in Gimp but I can't bring out the brightness of the paper, or the subtlety of the shading.   Some of it is really soft.  This looks crude.

Some of the shapes are off and misaligned but you wouldn't know it without the ref pic.  It's okay, it works.  I'm learning to be okay with what works.  Taking pictures like this helps me identify spots I'm not happy with.  I've already just corrected a couple of things from the shot above.

Because the vestments are white I have to take liberties with the tones to make sure some of the details will be readable.  I'll also have to make sure they are light enough  that when I get to his skin I don't have to overly darken the shading there.  I also have to re;y more on contour lines than I'd like...I'm learning to accept that too.  I don't like contours in my work.  I'd love to be known for that: "He's the guy who never uses contours, just fields of tones."   The work wouldn't be the same, so screw it.  Use what the image needs.

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7 hours in.  I'm going to end up wanting to adjust thee lightness of some of this, and I'm not sure it will really need it.  Artistic license, if it works it works.  It's the impression  you make that counts.  I do think I'm going much too dark with some of this shading when I look at the reference but on it's own it looks nice.

You try to see the shape of each shadow, and if you recreate those you might be fine.  However there will be many instances where the shapes are off, where they are mislocated...and if you try to fake it - if you just ma
e up the details - it's probably going to not convey anything to your audience but arbitrary marks on the page.  Feel the surface of the subject, in this case the fabric of the clothing.  Look  at the material until you can feel it's flow and texture.  Feel the rhythm of the folds.  Feel the way they reflect the light, or the way the light fades from the undersides of the folds.  When you see the flow of the material, feel it's rhythm, then you can fake the details in a way that you still convey what's going on whether it's technically true to the source ref or not.  I'm having to make up some of this in spots where I can't make out the shading in the photo, but I can see how the material lays on itself and on the body.  Some of it didn't convey the feel to me by flat 2D shapes on the page...but they feel right when I try to emulate what I think the material is doing.

Can you see the seams?  All of them?  I keep finding more seams that weren't obvious, and they're not all demarked by a contour line.  A few if those seams are actually a physical but of piped trim.

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8 hours in.  You see how far I get in an hour.  I can't usually work more than two at a time or I risk an eyestrain headache.  I've been spreading it out today, not out of prudence but because this segment is difficult to make out.  Here's a tip, if you can make out  the seams (or other visual borders) you can divide the piece into areas to work on their own instead of being intimidated by the thing as a whole.

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Done another 45 minutes and I'd like to do more today but the what I'd just added is starting to look a little like...bullshit?  The part of my brain that processes the image is starting to not work properly, I'll have to look at it again fresh.  It's the shading and the rucked material around the seam that are stymieing me.  I'm doing the under part of the sleeve now up to the cuff.

I think that's it for the day unless I add more later tonight.  After all, I'd like to have that sleeve fragment done.  But it's best to look at it after some rest, and I doubt I'll have  any time tomorrow.  So, 8 hours 45 minutes so far.

Progress, or not?

May 6th, 11:30 AM.  Have finally found my way into the zone (drawing) and have begun the real work on a portrait of Pope Francis.  If I don't stop now I'm gonna get a headache.  Did I say it was hard to begin, to find the frame of mind and spirit?  Well, it's also hard to stop once you're there.  Little details  everywhere call at you to tinker with them, perfect them, make them right.  That can be a huge problem when you've stopped seeing the shapes as they are again.  I'm working his collar, shirt buttons, pectoral cross, and chain.  Haven't gotten very few, you'd think, for several roughly two three (now) hours work.

Ah, Buddy's here anyway!

8" x 10", desaturated because the lighting adds blue.  Object is to make prints as Oswego is a hugely Catholic town.  Scott wants one, maybe some of his friends would like some.   I wonder if Dana would want one of these.

(5 hours)

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Did more refining of details yet to be drawn...spent a lot of time on the phone yesterday, on hold, so I spent it staring at the reference pic and sorting out details.  I need to work the eyes some, refine the size and spacing.  They're not right yet.  I've said before I usually start with the eyes...well, if I do the lead-heavy areas first I risk smudging when I do the rest.  Trying to work myself into the drawing again this morning, three areas that should be easy to transition into.  Yesterday came easy, today I have to force it.  I should be able to sell a few prints, and that's income - urgently needed.  Must stay on it every day.  I'll have Scott show it to the people in the gift shop at The Grotto when it's  done, maybe they'll be interested.

Jesseca's had an idea for a larger piece that I'll work on after this.  Needs one of the larger tablets Lore hasn't sent yet.  No word on the money coming through from the estate yet except that some of the bills were overpaid and a refund is expected.  I hope it won't be long.  My cash is almost gone and I want to pay Brian and Jesseca.  Also need to be able to buy some necessities.

I've filled out applications for work, hoping I'll get a bit.  Applied for assistance, have an appointment for a work assessment interview tomorrow.  All this shit is scary to me - fears of being able to carry out and keep a job, social phobias about people in general, transportation issues - and the more nervous I get the more clumsy and awkward.  It's getting on Jesseca's nerves.  So is just being here, she has discovered that she really needs her alone-time and that means having the house to herself.  She's afraid I want to be a permanent "guest".   I can't do anything but try to sense her mood and try to stay out of her way.  If DSS approves me, they still won't help for a month and a half, and I'm not sure Jesseca can tolerate that.  There's a place near here that houses men who need a placer to stay.  I haven't talked to them yet, and had better not count on them, but it would likely be ideal...not sure what that means for the stuff I have in storage.  Anyway, I'm trying to keep a poker face on for Jesseca but I see her friendship slipping away  and that saddens (alot) and scares me.  With Scott she's the best friend I have ans someone I care deeply about.  There are times I sense she can't stand the sight of me.  She's an extraordinarily empathic person given the space to step back and be so...our uninterrupted proximity doesn't give her that space.

Treading Water

April 29th.  Checked Etsy, small 'artist trading cards'  really do get  sold.  Many of the artists who do my kind of thing have a limited success on Etsy, seems many only make a few sales.  Jesseca's right, I need to find a market that's hungry.  Better still if I can find a subject that I feel as passionate about as my buyers.  If I stick with pencil and do my best work I can ask a fair bit more - not that the color works I'm currently doing don't take a lot of time and  effort, but I'm new at them and don't feel I'm getting the most consistent, solid results.  Prints tend to go for a few dollars each, hardly enough to cover postage, but originals of  decent work can  run better.  Eh - provided someone buys.  Some of them just sit there.  Now, Jesseca's work always sells, her page clears at a good pace...but she has made her rep in a market that was unfulfilled when she began.   She does beautiful work that's  consistent, and she has her own distinctive voice.  https://www.etsy.com/shop/ladybuckthorn

Currently working another 2.5" x 3.5", a partial nude of Sharon Mitchell laying in bed (she's just waking up in the morning), working from a low-quality screencap from a  source of even poorer visual clarity.  Not sure if I can post here when done...I don't want to mark this blog as having adult content if it means I can't "share" the post.  Will have to see if I can mark individual posts as NSFW, though it really is an innocuous image.  Then again, I've yet to see if the picture will turn out well anyway.  I'm having to interpret some of the details, and that might result in something interesting. 

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After 10 PM, same day, had to stop a few hours ago.   Have been at it since morning with a few breaks, and was on the verge of a headache.  Mostly, I hit a point where instead of improving the picture i was starting to harm it.  Now there's at least one spot that may turn out muddied.  Unff.  It will look fixable in thee morning.  See, such a small size may make it seem easy or quick - it isn't.  This one is a challenge, so I know it's worth doing.

Wondering if Tetsuo: the Iron Man drawings would sell.  I'd have to emulate the same tones, it's pretty high-contrast and grainy.  Ink would be better but pencil is what I do.  I would totally do metrogirl.  Might not be much of an American market for Tsukamoto in general, but Tetsuo is still a cult hit.

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May 4th.  The past few days have felt unproductive.  Been working on applying for assistance, and watching a lot of instructional videos on YT about painting, sculpting, and molding & casting.  Some of them have been useful, learned some techniques to try but still feels like I've just spent two or three days being utterly unproductive, wasted time.  The image of Sharon Mitchell looks good from a  distance, meaning I've worked out the shapes and shading, but will need paint to smooth out the rough areas.  I've too little experience with paint to feel up to it yet, trying to psych myself up.  Should force myself to draw instead.  Feeling weary, a little depressed.      I'm getting by, I just don't see the point. 

Never recall much of dreams, most have not been bad though none have been good or happy either.  Neutral at best but for those that remind me of what I've lost.  There have been none of Dana in any fashion: not Dana herself, no proxies, no symbolism relating to her, no hypnagogia, no anything.  : ( 
On the upside I've lost twentyfive pounds since coming to NY.  Eating habits have changed radically.  Hope it continues.

Looking for an image to post...don't like to post without images, I feel like I owe that to anyone who looks in, kind of cheating people if I don't give them at least something to look at.  Sorry.  I can't produce new stuff that quickly.  Even when I was at school it took a while to do a drawing, and that was when I was at it constantly.   

Still don't have more of my supplies yet.  The next thing I want sent is my sculpting putties and clays.  On days where I can't get into the zone for drawing or painting, I could work on psychical objects.  That would help me to not feel like I'm in a slump, keep me at something. 

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The Mitchell image is not a failure in that it is turning into an education.  As an art project, if I were a teacher I'd give it a D as it stands currently.  Here's the problem:  the trouble spot now looks smooth but has so much paint on it that it hasn't the luminosity of the rest - acrylic opposed to watercolor.  Colors still muddy, unattractive to look at.  Time to let it dry thoroughly again before I try altering the colors...and I'll have to go over the rest with acrylic as well.  I would like to do this again in watercolor later, because I really loved that luminosity.  Oh, FFS, the entire reason I liked this image was the way light played in it!  some of it is overlit to the point the details are washed out, and some of it is in deep contrasty shadow...and her face and body are right in the middle, causing interesting shadow play on her shoulder and breast, and making her facial expression enigmatic...is she sad or happy?  I can't tell. 

I've learned a technique for keeping a moist pallette.  Practice is showing me how much and how little water to use.  Some of these cards are for watercolor, and some are for acrylics and oils.  I haven't dug into them yet.  Learning not to let the page buckle from moisture, that's another trick I'll need to know for salable work. 

Normally working on art would help lift me out of a low mood, but when my art is also in a funk it makes things worse.  Can't find the zone to draw, and the painting is trouble.